Have I Become a Holiday Blogger?

Yikes! Really, it's shameful that my last post was before Thanksgiving. I haven't had much of a writing bug lately, even though plenty of things are going on. Take my hand and let me lead you along my path of random thoughts:

- Sweetpea is 4 months old! Wow. It has been an amazing experience, better than I could have imagined. I feel incredibly fortunate.

- Daycare for 3 days a week is not so bad. The first week was tough (the first day was frickin awful) but it gets better. She really loves being around other kids. The chance for socialization is a big plus.

- On the downside, she brought home her first cold a few weeks ago. We've been trading it back and forth between the three of us. There were some rough spots where she was miserable (congested, tough time sleeping) but she's remained a happy kid for the most part.

- Her newest thing is grabbing for her feet.

- At her four month visit, she hit the high percentiles again. She's big but she's proportional at least! She also provides lots of arm strength exercises for Mommy. Not many rolls or chubbiness, other than the cheeks and thighs. She's long and because of that has been in 6 month sizes for a few weeks. I'm resigning myself to the fact that there are clothes she won't have a chance to wear.

- We're planning on visiting her birthmom and her family in January. We've stayed in touch over email, and she can see pictures of Sweetpea online. I'm looking forward to seeing them.

- Our last homestudy visit should be in late January and finalization will be in February.

- Work is ok. I haven't had a big project since my return, only sporadic tasks. I hope things will pick up after the new year. I'm also looking into starting something on my own. That will wait until the new year too. Our office is closed between Christmas and New Year's. Yay!

- We had almost two feet of snow this weekend! I am so excited to have a white Christmas. It's been a while.

- We have family coming in from California to stay with us. They were supposed to arrive yesterday but the stupid airlines overbooked the flight, plus they had to deal with the weekend cancellations. They won't be able to fly out until Wednesday. I hope that it goes smoothly, or as smoothly as possible!

- I'm excited and so grateful to spend our first Christmas with Sweetpea. I'm anxious about family drama with the in-laws. I really can't say much more without password protecting the post! Depending on how things go this week, I might need to move my blog just to get things off my chest. The word "powderkeg" comes to mind.

- Next year I hope to convince my family to stop sending us gifts and give to charity instead, and to let us do the same on their behalf. I hope people don't spoil Sweetpea. I'm already thinking about needing to talk to some people (in-laws again) about setting limits. Might as well do it now while Sweetpea doesn't understand "presents".

- Speaking of charity, I came across this site after reading an article about it: Modest Needs. I was able to support someone getting back on their feet after job loss. What a wonderful concept this is!

- I was disappointed with how Sur*vivor ended. Sure, Russell was a jerk but he deserved to win in my opinion. Amazing how the next season will be the 20th! I like the concept they're going with (villians and heroes). DH and I have a soft spot for the show, as it's one of the first things we watched together while dating.

- A few weeks ago, I came down with a bout of food poisoning. I couldn't eat much for a couple of days and lost about 5 pounds. I haven't gained it back, which is nice. The downside is some of my work pants are dangerously close to sliding off. I really need to get a new belt... it's not worth the risk of mooning my co-workers!

- I'm looking forward to seeing Ava*tar. We haven't been to the movies in a while but plan to go next week.

I hope that everyone is enjoying the holiday season, and that 2010 brings good things for you and your families. My wish came true this year, so I'm happy to pass it along to someone else.

"Hope is like a bird that senses the dawn and carefully starts to sing while it is still dark."
-Anonymous

Gratitude

As we prepared to depart the hospital when Sweetpea was three days old, we gave her birthmother a small gift and a card. I don’t think I kept a copy of what was written in the card, but there is one line I remember clearly -- “Sometimes the words “thank you” are not strong enough”.

Thanksgiving means much more to me this year than it ever has. For the past few years, I’ve faithfully held onto the hope that by the next time the holiday came around, we would become parents. I feel so fortunate that it has happened.

I’m at work now, counting the moments until I can pick her up from daycare. I see her smiling face scroll by on my digital picture frame -- a sweet gift from my husband to ease the time away from her. I can almost hear the giggles, which have become more frequent over the last few days. Her laughter is the latest milestone that we’ve enjoyed.

For those of you who are still waiting to become parents… for those in the throes of infertility treatments… for those struggling with loss… I hope that each of you finds some peace during the holiday season. I know it can be a painful reminder of what you wish you had (or what you once had), and it can be hard to understand people who seem to take it for granted. I hope that somehow and in some fashion, you’re able to reach your dreams.

In light of the recent vitriol that I’ve seen other bloggers endure, I have considered taking my blog private. Yet I clearly remember how much comfort I felt when I started reading blogs of people who were going through the same thing we were. Perhaps in my own small way, I can pay some of that forward. As another consideration, I have more detailed things I’d like to discuss with respect to our adoption but I’m leery to do so in a public forum. So the bottom line on this is… I’ll keep you posted (har har).

For those celebrating the holiday, I wish you and your families a very Happy Thanksgiving!

Where has the time gone?

Hello! This has certainly been a long and unexpected break. I'm terribly sorry about that. Our Sweetpea is napping a bit, so I have some time (although my bowl of ice cream is melting...).

I return to work next week after a wonderful 13 weeks with our little girl. It's been great, and I'm sad that it's over. The good news is I was able to arrange for part-time work! I'll be at the office from Monday to Wednesday, and off on Thursday and Friday. We'll need to tighten our budget of course but I think it will be well worth it. I'm glad that both DH and my workplace were open to the idea. The daycare she'll be at is close to our house, and the main caregiver seems quite nice. I know it will be hard to leave her, and balancing both work and family will forever be tough... but this seems to be a good solution right now.

Sweetpea is doing well. Perhaps too well, sitting at the 95th percentile for weight at her 2 month well check!! The doctor didn't seem concerned, as she has a larger noggin too (82nd percentile) and is keeping her formula down. I've heard that things can change quite a bit once they start crawling. She's a generally happy baby and is babbling more each day. Lots of smiles too. She loves being read to, and gets a kick out of flash cards -- being a fan of nature shows, I've enjoyed telling her all about the biology and habits of the various animals on the cards. Yes, I am a nerd!

We remain in contact with the birthmother. We hope to visit her and her family soon. There's been no word about the birthfather yet. We had our second post placement visit this morning... we're pros by now.

So the crazy thing is I will probably have much more time to blog and post once I'm back at work. Ha!

Oh, she's stirring. I promise to be back again soon!

This and That

No problem at all with the first post placement visit, which was good since I decided not to go crazy with cleaning. I think that the key was letting the social worker hold the baby! Her visit was about an hour, and mainly consisted of seeing how Sweetpea was doing, if she had a safe place to sleep, etc.

We bought an Er.go baby carrier a couple of weeks ago. I'm wearing her in it now as I type on the computer... it's awesome! Hopefully she's not too warm in there but she seems cozy. It's also invaluable when it comes time to walk the dogs. I tried a few carriers and settled on this one, since DH can wear it too. Some carriers are better suited for women (like the Be.co).

We just made a switch from ready to feed to powder formula this weekend, and the poor girl seems to be struggling a bit in the BM department. When she finally goes, it's darker than it has been. Has anyone else experienced this? I'm wondering if we should stick with ready to feed or maybe try concentrate. We're using distilled bottled water with the powder.

She is starting to smile more, which is so cute! Non-gas-related smiles too. She really enjoys the playmat and is also figuring out the whole hands thing.

Our agency had a September match, and now there are no childless couples on their wait list! Feel free to message me if you want more information about our agency. I know the director is working with a couple of birthmothers and there aren't many waiting families right now.

I'm trying to figure out what to do when it comes time to return to work. So far I haven't figured out a way to work from home. I'm very tempted to return to my job part-time, but I'm not sure if DH will go for that. I'd love to find a way to work 3 days a week and be home with her the rest of the time. Ah well, the search continues...

30 Days and Other Random Thoughts

Wow, I have really become a laaame blogger! So sorry about that. Our little Sweetpea is just over a month old. This means that the BM's TPR has expired; however, the BF hasn't signed yet. While it's unlikely he would contest the placement, it remains a gray cloud over things. I just need to have faith that it will work out.

Mommyhood has been the best job ever, better than I could have imagined. Also more exhausting than I could have imagined. Our little girl has been waking up more often at night, and drinking less from her bottle before passing out. I thought we'd hit gold after one 5 hour stretch, but alas we've regressed a bit.

Most days she's quite happy, except for when she has a dirty diaper or when her bottle isn't prepared fast enough. Today was a bit of a fussy day, and Mommy is waiting for her chance to take a quick shower. Today is marked by small victories rather than the things I'd hoped to accomplish. Lists are a necessity these days and I'm learning not to get mad at myself for days when nothing gets taken off.

We're visiting a daycare center tomorrow (*sniffle*), and on Wednesday I'm going to check out some baby carriers.

On Saturday we have our first post-placement visit. I don't have the energy (or time!) for the cleaning spree this time around. For those of you that have been through one, what might we expect? The nursery isn't done yet either.

Oh, and if anyone is seeking a domestic adoption agency, I'm quite happy with ours. They are small and PA-based. Unfortunately they can't work with couples in every state. Their fees are reasonable. If you're interested, send me an email (questforalifetime at gmail.com) and I'll tell you more about them.

As an aside... I've had several sales ladies remark on how good I look for having such a little baby. I've decided to just smile and take the compliment... why the hell not, right? ;)

Three Weeks Already?!?

Oh dear, where has the time gone? The past few weeks have been a whirlwind of visitors, diapers, laundry, and lots and lots of love. My parents stayed for a couple of weeks and thankfully it was pretty drama free... though there were some instances of "This is how I did it when you were a baby" (fortunately I could easily shift blame to the pediatrician!). While they were a big help, they also kept me busy with projects around the house. Alas I didn't have much time for the internet!


Along that line, I have newfound respect for new mommy bloggers writing updates during the early days. You are even more awesome than I thought.


Sweetpea is doing wonderfully. She had another appointment today and is doing great with her growth. We are so lucky!! One day soon I'd like to share some of her birth story, and talk a bit about how our adoption is going. There's one unknown out there (re: birthdad) but I have to have faith that it will work out.


In the mean time, let me share some random thoughts (which may or may not be useful/interesting since they are tinged by sleep deprivation):


-- Aden & An*ais blankets are awesome for swaddling. I think Targ*et now sells them online.


-- Pack and plays with the bassinet are great inventions.


-- Thank you to those who suggested the Itz*been timer.


-- While developing upper arm strength is admirable, a Snap & Go stroller that fits with your carseat is handy.


-- Babies will wait to poop just as you're about to step through the door for an appointment. It's uncanny.


-- Sweetpea fights to get her arms out of the swaddle, and then lifts them over her head. She might be an NFL ref some day -- touchdown!


-- She can manage an impressive arching pee during a diaper change (something I thought only little boys did).


Alas, sleep is knocking on my door. I'm trying to catch up on how everyone has been. I see there's some exciting news out there!


A new picture before I pass out...

A few pictures (Warning: Severe Cuteness)

One day I will find time to write, I swear! :)